A Changing of the Guard

So, the blog went cold. I know I know. Shame on me. Lots been going on. Let me explain.

I am no longer at the Hardware Store. Ta-da! I now work at a Game store. Yessss...a game store...good times. Far better than that Hardware store. I get paid to play games. Doesn't get much better. I am back in my own environment. They pay me more and its closer to my house. It was an obvious choice.

However, I still have a few good stories from the Hardware Store. They are just as funny as they were a month ago. One of the ones that sticks out in my mind is the "couple" that came in buying plumbing supplies. I mean, I am talking those huge pvc pipes that you find under city streets. The big white ones that you could stuff small children into.

Now, the fact that they were buying this stuff is not as important as the fact that these two were...unique. The guy looked like he had come right off of a Jerry Springer episode. He had the mullet, and you could smell Pabst Blue Ribbon on him. He wreaked something awful, and he couldn't form a complete sentence without butchering the English language. What made this worse was that the "woman" he was with was so attention grabbing, he almost got away with being normal.

This..."woman" was about 6'6" and had shoulders wider than the Hoover damn. You could probably land stealth bombers on her back. She looked like she could play for the damned Oakland Raiders. She towered over Mr. Redneck, and her voice was about as deep. What made matters worse is that her dress was too small for her, and she had an Adam's Apple.

I mean really. She really did. I thought her knuckles may have had hair on them, but I could have been wrong. I tried not to get too close. Fortunately, I was stationed at Self Checkout, so they bypassed me for the Customer Service desk. Thank God.

So my only real questions are: Did the dude know? I mean...he had to of known. Right? I mean, it was pretty obvious with the throat, hands, and square jaw that this person was a man at some point. He might still be. You would notice that at some point, wouldn't you? I mean, this is the type of crap where the "woman" goes on Jerry to tell her mate that she is a dude, and then he gets grossed out and storms off the stage. Well, duh pal. The chick you have been sleeping with has a penis...what more proof do you want? I mean, I thought this stuff was only on TV. Apparently I was wrong.

One of my fellow cashiers at the Hardware Store said she was in the bathroom when she heard some heavy voice clear his throat. She thought she had gone into the wrong restroom. It was that obvious. I asked her if the person in the next stall was standing to pee. She never responded.

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Now, before you guys start abandoning ship, just remember that I will still be dealing with stupid people. Even if it is not at my job, I will do my best to bring you the adventures of continuing observation and battle with the masses.

-Deimos