TPS Report 05/07/2009

Apparently, some people partied way too hard this Cinco de Mayo, because its the only logical conclusion I could have made about my latest victim in my fight against the masses of stupid people. Of all the ones in recent tales, this is probably the worst.

One of my 12 bosses that has half a brain sent me down to work the Lumber cash register tonight to allow a fellow co-worker of mine a chance to take a break. I am totally down for this, because not only is Lumber overall slower paced then the front registers, but the customers, for the most part, tend to be pretty level headed, and kinda cool. They understand that sometimes, things happen and you got to look an item up or whatever. Like I said, reasonable people.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and/or stereotype. Tonight, I got to meet one of those exceptions. So, during the twenty minutes or so I am down at the Lumber register, I had all of about nine customers...and they all came at once. I was at register 2. Register 2 and 3 sit next to each other, sharing a spot for employees to stand. Basically, they are back to back, with Register 2 facing one way, and Register 3 another. So I am open on 2, because it is by the larger set of doors, making it easier for people with long pieces of lumber to exit. (Aren't I nice?) About two people through my conga line, and an old lady comes up to the register 3 and sets some flowers down on the register counter. She says nothing.

Now, at this point, I am not too concerned with her. After all, I have a horde of customers buying my wood. (Keep your crotch jokes to yourself) An old lady with flowers looking around like she is waiting on someone or something doesn't bother me too much. It would have continued to have been a non-issue as well, until the Witch of Register 3 opened her mouth.

WR3 waits until I am halfway through ringing up a customer before she opts to interrupt me. She doesn't ask questions, she doesn't even excuse herself from interrupting me. She demands to know why she has been skipped in line, and why I am not ringing up her flowers. I take a quick glance at my current customer, excuse myself from our conversation, and turn 180 degrees to face WR3. I smile as politely as I can before saying, "Sorry Ma'am, but I didn't realize you were ready to check out. However, that register is closed, and I am on the only open register at the moment, I am afraid you will have to get in line." She crinkles her nose at me a little bit in response.

Yes dipshit, you see that huge fucking box above your head with the number "3" on it? You see how it is lacking a light source? You may also notice, if you get your head out of your ass, that the light with the number "2" on it is illuminated, hence indicating that the register is in fact open. Of course, you probably were too busy paying attention to everyone else who already figured out what that meant, hence the line of very patient customers who now have to watch me dealing with you.

On a side note, why the hell would you have flowers down in Lumber anyways? The Lawn and Garden section of the store is on the complete opposite end, and they have registers down there. You had to pass up 11 possible registers and the self checkout to get down here with those flowers, and then you proceeded to go into the wrong line! Who the hell let you out of your cage? Seriously! They let you drive? I mean...really...they do?!

Eventually, WR3 gets to the head of the line, which at this point, is just her and one other person. She says she is very disappointed in the lack of customer service, and that I should be ashamed of myself, along with dropping a couple of inappropriate words. I calmly set down my scanner and take a side step over to Register 3. I flip on my light, and ask the gentleman behind her to step over so I can ring him out. She is flabbergasted.

I shoot her a quick glare before nailing my point home. "It is my job to assist you in the nicest way possible. It doesn't mean I am here to take your abuse. When you are ready to engage me in a conversation like an adult, I will assist you." Of course, I don't even bother looking at her at this point. I just go about being nice and ringing the other guy out. By the time we are done, she has left. The flowers are still on the counter.

The lesson learned here folks is that I don't take crap from my kid, let alone a stranger with an attitude. I hope she rats on me to one of my 12 bosses. That way, I can relive the tale. Once I tell them its all on camera, and they can see and hear what I did for themselves, and I will laugh. This is probably the first person that I have actually felt a loathing for. Not because she was an idiot, but because she disrespected me after being an idiot on multiple levels, which is much harder to do than it looks.

-Deimos